My Sweet R came home yesterday upset. She was having your typical elementary school frustrations with friends and disappointments. This isn’t super common, she loves school and overall has fantastic days. But yesterday was just one of those days. We all have them. On days like that, you just can’t seem to shake the frustrations. They seem to build on each other.
After cleaning up from dinner, I asked her if she’d like to join me on my nightly walk. Truthfully, it wasn’t really what I wanted to do. I look forward to my nightly walks, they bring me peace. It’s a time that I either listen to the hum of nature, my own thoughts or some podcast; whatever I’m feeling on that particular day. But I could feel that she would benefit from a nice walk where she could tell me all about her frustrations while moving her body. Literally moving the frustrations out of her little body.
And boy did she talk. I mean, if you know her, you’d already know that she’s a talker (she gets the gift of gab from her Dad). My goal of our walk was to teach her that there are healthy ways to let your frustrations out. Ways that don’t involve alcohol, drugs, social media, overeating, hiding…you pick your own destructive behavior.
My job, as a parent, is to attempt to teach my kids how to deal with their feelings. Which is hard because as an adult, I’m a work in progress at dealing with my own.
At the beginning of 2020, before the world took a turn that I never saw coming, I started a Gratitude practice. First thing in the morning, I would write down 3 things I was grateful for. It took practice to get into the routine, but I did it for 2 months (January – beginning of March). Somedays it was hard, but it became something that I looked forward to.
Then COVID hit and I lost the discipline of it. Life got hard and I stopped doing it. Honestly, I should have kept with it. It probably would have made the hard days better.
I got lost in life and so did my gratitude. Maybe, just maybe this was related.
To this day, I still haven’t picked it back up again…until today.
I had a rare 2 minutes to breathe this morning before Sweet R came down for breakfast. I quickly jotted down on a piece of paper, “Let’s Start Our Day Out Great! The 5 things I am most grateful for:” with the numbers 1-5 below it. I made one for myself as well and filled in 3 of them before she walked down, so she had an example to help her along. It was waiting for her at the breakfast table with a pen. She looked at me a little funny at first, but she humored me and filled it in. Using a pen is really cool at her age and I’m not a complete idiot in her book quite yet.
This was my attempt to start her day out better. I didn’t want her frustrations that she let go on our walk last night to creep into her day today. But truthfully, it was just as much for her as it was for me. It reminded me that it made a difference in my attitude too.
Quickly this morning I made a Weekly Gratitude Journal that we are going to start using. If you want to download it and use it yourself, it’s available below.
Have you ever tried a Gratitude practice? If you have, did you like it? If you haven’t, would you consider it? Involve your kids, it’s never too early or late to help them add positive tools to their life or your family.
This month, I had the opportunity to attend & be a part of a leadership summit. I was able to catch up with old acquaintances, some of whom I looked to as my career was only just beginning. As we ate lunch together on the first day, one of them asked me “So what have you been up to?”. I got caught off guard, I froze and felt like a fish out of water. Why was I caught off guard by this question? In essence, it was a different way to ask someone how they are, without getting the same ole canned answer back. It was suppose to be an easy question.
My quick answer back was “Oh, just being a Mom’.
That answer has haunted me since it came out of my mouth. Actually, at the time if I could have pulled the words back as they were coming out, I probably would have. I quickly followed up my answer with all the things I have been working on professionally. Freelance jobs I’ve taken on in my ‘spare time’.
I’ve given quite a bit of thought as to why my answer felt like nails on a chalkboard to me and why I reacted like I did with a list of freelance work to validate myself. And here’s what I have come up with so far.
Truthfully, it doesn’t feel like enough. I still don’t feel comfortable being a ‘stay-at-home’ mom. Whatever that actually means. I have imposter syndrome, pretty bad.
Being a Mom is the hardest and most challenging job I’ve ever had in my entire life, yet I immediately felt the need to follow it up with professional jobs I’ve been working on. My answer didn’t seem to do the job justice. It’s almost like I diminished it.
But why? Why did I diminish the hardest job I’ve ever accepted in my life? Why does ‘just being a Mom’ seem so dang easy or not feel like enough? Is this my own feelings or has this been long engrained into my thoughts?
I don’t have answers to those questions.
All I know is that I didn’t choose this life, it chose me. I’m trying to just go with it. And it’s been a great lesson.
That’s a truth bomb. It’s easy to gloss over it and never give it much thought. What you listen to on a daily basis, whether it’s people, music, podcasts, TV shows, movies, the news, YOURSELF…it’s either lifting your mood up or it’s taking you down.
I happen to have a job that I can put headphones in and listen to something all day long. This is not the norm, I realize. But in my little world, it is.
Since the beginning of the year, I have made a conscious effort to read social media differently…less random scrolling and being more intentional with how I consume it. Along with this has come a shift in what I am filling my world with.
For 2020, I have chosen Books and Podcasts.
What am I reading?
#IMOMSOHARD by Kristin Hensley
Girl Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis
Girl, Stop Apologizing by Rachel Hollis
Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki
What am I listening to?
Start Today Morning Show Podcast
Rise Together Podcast
Sunday Sitdown with Willie Geist Podcast
Oprah’s Super Soul Conversations Podcast
Where My Mom’s At Podcast (usually viewed on YouTube)
Honestly, I already feel it working. I feel a shift. A noticeable shift in my mood and how I view the world & life.
One of my biggest revelations of the year is something that deep down I already knew.
Negative self-talk will sabotage you.
All the positive reading and listening in the world isn’t going to make up for being unkind to yourself. Your inner monologue, what you say to yourself on a daily basis…it’s POWERFUL.
What are you listening to these days? Is there something your listening to that I need to? Please share!
But most importantly, how are you talking to yourself?
Today is my birthday. Do you know what that means?
Besides the fact that I’ve taken another trip around the sun, another 365 days of magic, it means I have officially been writing on this blog for a full year now. Every year on my birthday, I look back and reflect on what my year looked like. Usually my year is categorized by a few ‘big’ things, sometimes they are happy and sometimes, as life can do to you, they are not. Mostly though, I have a hard time remembering what happened in the year or what I was thinking. But this year is a little different, as I have a written record in the 7 blogs that I published.
So what did this year look like?
Stress. Pressure. Purge. Transformation. Growth.
I have two kids, Sweet R and Beast R. Every day when they wake up, I ask them the same exact question…
“Did you grow last night? You look taller and older than you did when I put you to bed.”
Sweet R always laughs and says “Of course I did, I’m getting so big”. It’s so easy to see the transformation and growth in my kids, they are literally growing and changing before my eyes. The year to year comparisons are just unreal; physically, emotionally & developmentally.
Why is it that we, as grown ups, don’t seem to continue to look for growth within ourselves? Even if only on a yearly basis, we need to dig deep and ‘trust the process’.
This year I purged my life.
I cleaned my entire house out, ROOM BY ROOM. I got rid of so much junk that sometimes my husband thought he was gonna go too. I got a new car, new cell phone, wiped my contacts, gave away the clothes that I was never going to fit into again (because let’s face it, it isn’t happening and it’s just making me feel bad), sold all my baby gear and baby clothes/shoes.
And let me tell you how good it felt. It was like a weight lifted off my shoulders.
My motto this year: You do you.
The older I get: the better I get to know myself, the more confident I feel following my gut and the less I care about what other people think. Asking myself questions like: Why am I putting people in my life as a priority when I am merely an option to them? Realizing who was treating me as an option, now that was not an easy pill to swallow. But I’m trusting the process.
To everyone who followed me along on this blog journey, who read along, encouraged me and commented (either to me in person or on the blog), thank you from the bottom of my heart. I truly enjoyed getting back to my writing roots. I love writing and honestly forgot about that part of myself.
I have a lot more things on my mind, so I’m hoping to be able to increase the number of posts this next year and maybe even spiff up the site. But for now…
Here’s to the next 365 days…wherever that takes me, it’s gonna be something I tell ya.
About 2 months ago, I was sitting at my kitchen island on a Tuesday morning drinking my coffee and feeding my little guy breakfast before I started work for the day.
I had already gotten my daughter and husband out the door and off to their Tuesday morning coffee date before he drops her off at school for the day. The sun was shining in the front windows and it felt amazing. All I needed was some good ole Tuesday morning inspiration.
Quickly I decided to find a Rachel Hollis podcast to get me going for the day.
If you don’t know who Rachel Hollis is, please take a moment to google her sometime. She’s the author of “Girl, Wash Your Face” and her latest book “Girl, Stop Apologizing”. She does many other things; like run companies, be a mom and inspire many people.
She touched on one thing that I have had burned in my brain for 2 months now. You see, she was talking about time & life circumstances. How there are so many differences that can give people a leg up in life, such as amount of money you have, or your network of connections, or your job. Everyone is always asking her how she seems to fit everything that she does into one day, and how people always say that’s unrealistic to their life circumstances.
However, she so nicely points out that we all have one thing in common…
“We all have the same 24 hours. And only you can decide how to use them.”
Let that sink in for a minute, read that again…
“We all have the same 24 hours. And only you can decide how to use them.”
Sorta crazy to think about right? Every person on Earth has the same amount of time in a day.
So what is your time worth to you?
This question that has been on the top of my mind for awhile, far before hearing this podcast. It’s actually the subject of many many conversations that my husband and I have had this year.
Obviously we can quantify our time within our careers, it would be how much we make. Our salary or hourly wage has to equal more than our bills, or at least that’s the goal.
But what about your ‘free time’? The time you spend outside of your normal 9-5 (or whatever it is you do in life). What is your time worth?
Would you rather go grocery shopping, or take your kid to the park while someone runs through a grocery store & stands in line for you?
Would you rather cut your grass, or have someone do that for you during the workday?
Would you rather spend your life doing laundry, or would you like to have someone pick it up, do it and drop it off folded?
That project you’d love to get done in the house…yes, you or your husband could do it, but will it get done? And how long will it take?
Grocery delivery. Lawn maintenance. Laundry service. Contractors. Yes, they all cost money, but time is money after all…right?
What if I said this thought can be applied to who you spend your ‘free time’ with?
Think about it. We all know those people, the ones who are complete energy drains on your system. You know, Suzy, who complains nonstop about everything. You end up feeling tired, drained and out of energy after your interaction with them. You could of gotten so much done that day, but she took your energy.
So the question of how much your time is worth, goes straight down to who you are spending it with. Are you spending time with people who are good for your soul? People who rejuvenate your soul? And as bad as it sounds, people who are worthy of your time?
Nobody can tell you what your ‘free time’ is worth. This is a completely personal question that you’d have to take time to think about. Time is very valuable, we all never seem to have enough of it. And yes, we all have the same amount.
I challenge you to think about it. What is your time worth? How are you spending it? Can you make changes that will give you more time?